I'm not doing a full update to the story pages just yet, because I honestly don't have the time right now. To anyone reading... let me know you're reading, 'cause I sure don't know it right now. It WILL be done though, and this WILL be updated more...

I'd like to edit a lot of this, though have been told repeatedly not to. Thus, raw coyotesabre. Have fun.

from the beginning

anya hears the rain coming down on the ceiling, even through her abandoned attic, and she thinks back and remembers the slow drip that used to form every single time it rained like this, right next to her head in a slow drip... and how it took an entirely new roof to take care of it. and then her mind takes her somewhere else entirely...

it was in this same room, this very same bed, on these once deep black sheets, just under nine months earlier. they had been laying there talking, something that they'd become accustomed to recently with everything that had happened and the way that everything had changed around them.

it started when jordan said i'm cold... and then it grew from there. they started carefully at first, but soon skin was blending with skin, fingers were blending with fingers, lips were blending with lips, tounges were intertwined as they rolled together, making sure they could still face each other as they tumbled in their passion. a soundtrack of their favourite band and the thundering rain storm played in the background as the lightning would randomly illuminate the room, showing them flashes of each other's flesh, of their impassioned faces. anya smiled as she felt jordan release, and was taken aback when she felt her companion make her way on top of her, touching her in ways she had only imagined before now, and locking her mouth to anya's as she tried desperately not to yell... jordan remembering that anya's father was just in the next room.

jordan rolled off of her, both of them rolling to where they could continue their kissing and gentle touching... and to face one another as they lay there in each other's arms. later on would come the realization of what had just happened between them, but for right now, the lovers stayed intertwined like this, kissing each other every now and then just because they could, and knowing that there was at least one other person who loved them. if they didn't know it, they could see it in each other's eyes whenever they would pull away to say "i love you." eventually they kissed each other to sleep, with the greatest feeling of safety and trust that either of them had ever known.

..that was only friday night. saturday afternoon, they rolled out of bed around two or three after going on again and again, each of them seemingly memorizing the way that the other felt, the way that their lover's lips felt against their own, the way that their skin felt when touched against their own. three to four hours of sleep under their belts, they went out and got errands done... and came back for more while everyone else was busy. the rain continued, just as fiercely, and they continued on with their affair through out the weekend, comforting each other from the storm and keeping each other as warm as possible...

just under nine months later, it was over quite abruptly upon the appearance of a boy that fancied jordan's likings. things had been slowly trailing off for a while... but had been just as pasisonate. at first it cut so deep, it hurt to breathe... but it was easier now. she'd grown accustomed to laying by herself in her room, even on nights like this when it was just like those nights...

now, as anya lay there staring at her ceiling, she remembered those first nights that they spent together... the first nights that she would spend with anyone.

with all that happened then, and all that's happened since... she doesn't regret it one bit. that it was held in secret, or that it was a secret for so long... that it ended up happening at all. she can say that jordan was her first for absolutely everything... from first kiss to first heartbreak... and still say that she's the best friend that she'll ever find. and all of that trust was still there... and always would be.

..who knows, maybe sometime along the road, there'll be time again for anya and jordan to be together. at this point it seems almost impossibe... but anya learned not too long ago to expect the unexpected when in the realm of love. jordan's left the door propped open a bit for possibilities... and though anya isn't holding her breath, she can still be found secretly hoping from time to time that she will again feel those lips against her own in a way that only a friend never would.