I'm not doing a full update to the story pages just yet, because I honestly don't have the time right now. To anyone reading... let me know you're reading, 'cause I sure don't know it right now. It WILL be done though, and this WILL be updated more...

Basically, this is a firsthand story from Anya's point of view, written the way that she writed -no capitalization or anything whatsoever. Very e.e.cummings, that one is.

the story of my virginity

i lost my virginity to the corner of a step in a swimming pool when i was about seven or eight. and it was a painful experience, because i didn't see it there and just kinda jumped in, as any kid would... and it hurt. a lot.

i willingly lost my virginity to my best friend. i am a lesbian, she was confused (has discovered she is bi), traumatic experiences had occured... she comforted me, and we continued comforting each other the entire weekend. i had a massive crush on her from the moment we met and thought that i would only dream of that day... and was prepared to only dream of that day for all of my life.

she was my first kiss, my first grope, my first sex, my first love making, my first fucking, my first oral... and then nine months later, my first heartbreak when a boy came into the picture that she fell for easily. a boy that i can see her being with forever, the way that they are with each other. i knew that we hadn't been committed, and had promised to be okay with things should either of us meet someone else. but dammit all if i didn't get attached.

it's been three months. and sometimes, i still wonder if there's any way that she and i can actually be together. we made a pact that when she's twenty five (a year older than me, by the way), if we're both single (i'd drop anyone for her), we'll get married (someplace that it's legal). because before this boy came along, i had been the closest thing to perfect for her... i had been the one she'd had dreams about every now and then, i had been the one she would make up excuses to go to bed with, i had been the one that she wanted to spend all of her time with... because i was almost everything that she wanted.

i wouldn't change my "second" first time for anything in the world... it was perfect. there were storms the entire weekend, and it all started when she said the words "i'm cold". thus, i commenced to keeping her warm... and since we'd been making out with each other for a couple of months now on a fairly regular basis, she allowed more to happen than had ever happened before. i honestly felt the love in the room, in the entire house when i'd get up for something... i knew that in those moments, we were in love in some way or another, that we could trust each other with absolutely anything that came along... that i could be anything that she wanted me to be, and her for me. and we kept each other warm for three days, which turned into about nine months... and in all honesty, i wish that it had been longer... but i'm always going to cherish that time.

now that first time... let me tell you, always look before you leap. it can be quite painful if you don't. i still have bad dreams about that day sometimes... quite an embarassing trip to the emergency room with that one.
doctor: "how old is she?"
mom: "*insert proper age here, being seven or eight*"
doctor: "is it possible that she's menstruating?"
little me: "what's mentalstrate?"
yeah... you be that kid who'd got a doctor's hand at your hoo-hah trying to figure out what's wrong o__o;;.