I'm not doing a full update to the story pages just yet, because I honestly don't have the time right now. To anyone reading... let me know you're reading, 'cause I sure don't know it right now. It WILL be done though, and this WILL be updated more...
Again, first person Anya perspective. I like writing from her, helps to get out some personal things sometimes... Anyway, without further adu, more from the non-caps world of Anya.
heartbreak in the form of a boy
and thus, she plunges her hand into her own chest and feels around for her still beating heart, ripping it out and throwing it onto the floor herself, so that no one else could take the effort -no, for them, the pleasure- to do so themselves. and then she watches as they all attack it with dirt and stones, almost happy to finally have that outside of her body instead of keeping it within... because it almost hurt more inside than it does now.
...
she loves him. i can see it in her eyes, i can hear it in her voice when she's talking about him... i feel it in the absence of her warmth from my side. and from what i've heard, he loves her too... in more than a fleeting way. the hours spent on the phone, the spurts of time spent together whenever possible... the times when i see them together and just know. i know that this is either going to be over within the next month or two, or that it will go on for... months, maybe even years... because that's just the way they work, despite her fear of those words and their implications and his cautiousness to what's happening around them.
i've watched this happen many times before, and a lot of the time it ends within a couple of months... but i have a different feeling about these two. and to be honest... i really think they could do it... no matter how much it tears me up inside to say it, i really think they could.
and i'm gonna do what i always said i would end up doing; i'm planning to sit on the sidelines and hope for chances to jump in aside from riding along places or driving places, because it gets harder and harder every day to have time... i'll keep hoping for an hour here and there to just be us again, without some boy, or maybe for me someday some girl, being involved.
...
she walks over to it, seeing all of the abuse that her heart had endured, and picks it up, seeing that it was still fighting. carefully cleaning it off, she replaces it in her chest, and lays down to regain some energy, hoping that someone will come along and help her walk away...